A Skill You Need, Even if You're a Genius!

During one of my professional roles, a particular management team conducted a job interview with a candidate for a leadership position within the institution. I was a member of the interview panel, and I had the opportunity to ask questions and assess the candidate's abilities. The candidate was a skilled expert in their field, with extensive experience and exceptional skills in identifying opportunities and solutions.

After concluding the interview, each panel member shared their opinion, and there was a consensus that the candidate was professionally competent. However, there was an issue that could potentially hinder their ability to lead a team effectively. During the interview, the candidate lacked emotional control, struggled to listen attentively, and frequently adopted an aggressive stance.

Initially, we considered the possibility that the candidate might have been going through a difficult situation on that day. Therefore, we decided to schedule a second interview a week later. Unfortunately, during the second interview, our concerns were confirmed, as the candidate demonstrated a need to improve their emotional management and interpersonal skills.

Many of us have encountered similar situations in one way or another, and you might wonder how an intelligent person can struggle with self-control and effective communication with others. The answer lies in the concept of emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is a common and crucial aspect, but its precise definition can be elusive. While there are numerous definitions, we can simplify it as the ability to manage our relationships with ourselves and others. I want to emphasize the word "relationships" here.

Cognitive intelligence (IQ) and Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

Our lives are a vast network of relationships. There is an internal relationship, which is our relationship with ourselves, and external relationships, which are our relationships with others, starting from parents to friends, colleagues, and acquaintances. The quality of these relationships significantly impacts the quality of our lives, and in this field lies the importance of emotional intelligence.

There is no doubt that cognitive intelligence, measured by IQ, is one of the essential components of professional success. However, when combined with emotional intelligence, the chances of success increase significantly. Emotional intelligence can be a key to unlocking new opportunities, fostering growth in your professional career, and allowing you to collaborate with top talent, from whom you can learn and gain valuable insights. Conversely, a lack of emotional intelligence may prevent you from accessing many of the opportunities you seek, even those that match your skills and expertise.

A survey conducted by the professional platform CareerBuilder,on 2,600 hiring managers and human resources specialists, 59% stated they would be hesitant to hire someone with a high IQ but low emotional intelligence (EQ). Furthermore, 71% believed that emotional intelligence was more crucial than cognitive intelligence in the hiring process.

So, here's the big question: how can I improve my emotional intelligence? But before answering this question, let's take a look at the components of emotional intelligence.

Pillars of Emotional Intelligence:

We can divide emotional intelligence into four pillars:

1. Self-awareness: The ability to recognize your feelings and be aware of them and their causes.
2. Self-management: The skill to regulate your emotions, staying in control and adapting to various situations.
3. Social awareness: The capacity to recognize and empathize with the emotions of others.
4. Relationship management: The art of influencing, motivating, and guiding others while handling conflicts and building strong connections.

4 Tips to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence:

Now that you understand the importance of emotional intelligence and its components, the question arises: how can you improve your emotional intelligence and control your emotions and feelings? Here are four tips:

1. Keep a journal: At the end of the day, write about the most significant situations you encountered, and express your feelings honestly towards each one. Writing will help you understand yourself better and shed light on your strengths and weaknesses, allowing you to better prepare for similar situations in the future.
2. Don't deny your feelings: Whether your emotions are positive or negative, it is important to consistently acknowledge and understand their underlying causes. This practice will enable you to cultivate the factors that enhance your emotional state, while also identifying the sources of your distress, thereby equipping you to confront and address them effectively.
3. Ask those around you: Seek feedback from people you trust and have a close relationship with about your emotions, strengths, and weaknesses. This will help you improve yourself, your emotions, and shed light on your blind spots.
4. Read about others: Diversify your reading with the authentic autobiographies of others. This will help you understand their personalities, thoughts, and feelings, enabling you to empathize with them.

Finally, while high cognitive intelligence may be out of our control and influenced by genetic and hereditary factors, we can develop and improve our emotional intelligence, raising its level to enhance our lives and increase our chances of success.

Reference: Dr. Bader Al-Badr's personal blog